I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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