Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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