My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
