Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
