you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
