is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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