4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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