and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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