"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
