Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
