I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
