I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
