He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
