my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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