Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
People in love make me want to vomit
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
