You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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