shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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