I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
someone owes me an orgasm
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
