She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
