Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
