oh god the rape fog is back!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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