Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
