So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Randomize