wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
