is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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