the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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