woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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