what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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