You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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