she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
