She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
