did you get engaged???
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
