I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
