love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
