I got chris browned last night
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
