Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
