I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
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