YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
