Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
