The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize