She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I cut my penus on the lid.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize