Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
