Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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