I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
