I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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