just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I want to be your penis for a week.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
