Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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