I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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