I need help removing her.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
