It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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