Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
