so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Acid is not a monday night drug
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
