you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
