I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
