She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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