Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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