Have you finally orgasmed yet?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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