she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
