ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
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