I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
